Introduction: It’s almost ironic that I’m finally getting around to posting this today. Our California courts ruled that due to the amendment process of the California Constitution, a simple majority can make into law the discrimination of a minority group. Per the court documents issued today:
The federal Constitution provides that an amendment to that Constitution may be proposed either by two-thirds of both houses of Congress or by a convention called on the application of two-thirds of the state legislatures, and requires, in either instance, that any proposed amendment be ratified by the legislatures of (or by conventions held in) three-fourths of the states. (U.S. Const., art. V.) In contrast, the California Constitution provides that an amendment to that Constitution may be proposed either by two-thirds of the membership of each house of the Legislature (Cal. Const., art. XVIII, § 1) or by an initiative petition signed by voters numbering at least 8 percent of the total votes cast for all candidates for Governor in the last gubernatorial election (Cal. Const., art. II, § 8, subd. (b); id., art. XVIII, § 3), and further specifies that, once an amendment is proposed by either means, the amendment becomes part of the state Constitution if it is approved by a simple majority of the voters who cast votes on the measure at a statewide election. (Id., art. XVIII, § 4.)
As is evident from the foregoing description, the process for amending our state Constitution is considerably less arduous and restrictive than the amendment process embodied in the federal Constitution, a difference dramatically demonstrated by the circumstance that only 27 amendments to the United States Constitution have been adopted since the federal Constitution was ratified in 1788, whereas more than 500 amendments to the California Constitution have been adopted since ratification of California’s current Constitution in 1879.
If you’re at all intrigued by the decision set forth today, please read through at least part of the court documents. It is apparent that due to this amendment process, the court has little power to protect those in the minority. And that is really scary. My mom cautioned me against posting this fact about myself, saying that some people may not react well. But really, should I continue to keep quiet just to placate those who cannot handle the differences in others? I am a person. The same person.
There’s a fact about myself that I don’t talk about with others often. Or at all, really, until recently.
I am a secular humanist. Or agnostic. Or non-believer. Free-Thinker. Non-religious. Atheist. Really they all have the common facet of a lack of belief in any god. Any attention paid to the exact classification isn’t all that important. It may be for some, but most non-religious understand that labels are necessary only for those who have the need to categorize people, instead of taking the time to understand the true meaning.
I never felt the need to talk about it in this blog, or really all that often in my life, because it is something my life is without. Being without religion means exactly that. It’s not a part of my life. So I’ve never felt the need to blog about it.
However, I want to address it solely for the purpose of “coming out.” It’s easy for people to criticize an ideal if it’s somewhat of an unknown. When you know a person who is either gay, black, atheist, (insert any prejudice here), it sheds some light and helps dissolve the myths. Being non-religious is part of who I am, and I’ve been this way for quite some time. It’s not something I irrationally chose. It took up quite a bit of space in my mind while I tried to sort out my feelings and come to a conclusion. I’m very comfortable with it, and I hope others would be as well.
I do not believe in any deity, but here is a quick version of what I do believe: I believe that you can be good without god. I identify with the secular humanist ideals, as they uphold reason, ethics, and justice, and specifically reject any supernatural or spiritual as the basis of moral reflection and decision-making. Secular humanism focuses on the fact that humans should be good to one another. It’s our duty to create a better world for us all to live in. Really plain and simple. I’m not concerned with where I end up after my body is gone, my purpose in life is to improve this earth for future generations, in whatever means I can.
I would never try to convince someone that they should not believe in any god or any religion. This is the main reason I am writing this post. I feel some people may think that my being non-religious means that I would automatically be against the religions of others. I feel that religion should be a very personal part of someone’s life. Just as I would hate for someone to try to tell me the way I live is incorrect, I would never intend to do that to anyone else. I think this is where conflict can begin. I fully understand that a main facet of religion is to share and convert followers. And my choice not to follow a religion did not come because I thought religion was some great institution. However, as a human being, I think it is more important to respect others and their right to choose their own religion or non-religion.
My goal in sharing this with my readers is to encourage you to think outside your box. We live in an America of choices. Some say that this is a Christian nation, but it is not. It’s a nation of so many different religions, colors, cultures. It’s a nation with a separation of church and state for that very reason. As someone who is now part of the minority, being non-religious, I’m all the more thankful for this protection. It would be too easy for the majority of those with religion to infuse our governments, schools, policies with items sourced from their own religion. This is precisely why our form of government was created with this protection. Our fore-fathers wanted us to live harmoniously and did not want people, like myself, to be oppressed because of our religious or irreligious choices.
I’m fully aware that I have readers who are highly religious. Who am I kidding? I have had a giant knot in my stomach and have been shaky ever since I realized I needed to write this. This is why I never really spoke about it before. I want to avoid any possibility that my non-religion could be misconstrued as an attempt to hurt others. I’m not positive of how accepting people would be of my lifestyle. Not that my lifestyle is any different. My morals are not rooted in the bible, but they most certainly do exist. I hold myself and my personal morals to a higher standard than the average person. Because I don’t pray and ask for forgiveness, I am responsible for my own behaviors. I did not choose non-religion solely to give me a free pass to sin as much as my heart desires. But I can understand if this makes people uneasy, especially being something they may not understand themselves. Just know, I’m talking about it this one time in hopes that my readers/friends/family will understand who I am a little better. I don’t plan on really discussing it again. But if you aren’t comfortable, I fully encourage you to unsubscribe/distance yourselves from me/whatever the case may be. I’m human, and I know I’ve chosen not to subscribe to blogs whose premise is solely about praising the lord. It’s okay.
One thing I do ask is that you respect my choice, just as I respect yours. Please don’t condescendingly say that you will pray for me. Please don’t try to argue about the existence of god with me. If our world is ever going to get along, the most important step will be our willingness to respect the religious choices of others. Whether or not we agree.
And if I need to stress this any more, witnessing, trying to convert, exorcise (ridiculous I know, but not unheard of), etc. will not be well received. In fact, it will be received with absolutely zero grace or care. And it will be the fastest way to rid me from your life. Capisci?
I can definitely relate with all of this. I grew up in the Methodist church, only to find out recently that we only went because my dad thought it was the right thing to do…umm?
He finally stopped going and taking my little sister after she was exposed to some pretty nasty comments about Muslims–that’s just not who he is at all. I appreciated his honesty, but at the same time, it was frustrating to grow up with this set of beliefs, feeling that I had to conform.
Luckily, I’ve outgrown that, but I still crave some sense of community–church was great for that. I don’t know what or where I will find; we did check out a Unitarian Universalist church, and that was pretty close, but it just wasn’t quite what I needed.
Thanks for sharing this–I know it had to be tough. Eric and I still pretend that we go to church/pray/etc. for some family members’ sakes, and we probably shouldn’t do this, but I’ve already picked too many battles, I guess.
I feel that I would be nothing with out God..and that My life would not be complete.
BUT.
I don’t think that makes you any less of a person Steph..I think you are a truly thoughtful and wonderful person.
I KNOW how much you were going through trying to decide whether or not to post this today and I applaud you Steph. This is a VERY well written article. It has been a hard day for those of you that believe in equal rights for EVERYONE no matter race, gender, religion, age, sexual preference, or any other group.
I personally grew up Catholic. 13+ years of Catholic education and attended mass EVERY sunday until I graduated high school (and by attended mass, I don’t mean what many “Catholics” think constitutes “attending mass” – going to church on major holidays, but rather, really DID go over week. And have the 200+ masses served as an altar server to prove it).
However, my mother is Protestant and if she taught us anything, it was to think for ourselves. I don’t think I’m a good person because I went to church. I think I’m a good person because I try be good. I love my neighbors, give back to my community, and treat others as I would like to be treated. These are fundamental beliefs of MOST religions for a good reason. However I think many organized religions have gotten very political and very condemning (including the Catholic church) and I think the fundamental values (bringing people together to be good) have been lost.
I wish everyone could be as rational as you Steph. You are by far one of the nicest, sweetest, loving, and polite people I know. Don’t let a few haters bring you down. You are wonderful. Please know that no matter what people post you have people in your corner.
Ok, there is so much I want to write but I’m just not as eloquent as you, so I’ll just think it in my head.
I love you sister and I think you are so brave for doing this, really. I don’t think its fair for other people to try to make you feel bad for any decision that you make. Or for anyone to make anyone else feel bad for a choice they make in their life. Religious views are a very personal experience. No one should care what decision you make and focus on their own
. You are one of the strongest, most intelligent people I know.
Can I seriously squeeze you super tight? You make me wanna. We see eye to eye.
<3
Hi there, I’m delurking to say I agree with everything you said here. It’s pretty much spot on to how I feel myself. I do hope people respect what you’ve said. It would sadden me otherwise. I hate the idea that some people may think if you’re not religious you want to force your views on other people and make them not believe in a god either. That’s just not the way it is. I’m all about live and let live.
You’ve expressed yourself so beautifully and I think it’s wonderful that you felt compelled to share this part of your personal life.
This prop 8 business is so ridiculous.
Well said. I especially liked the last paragraph about mutual respect. I’ve recently had an conversation about religion and faith where I tried to be respectful of another’s beliefs but felt that I was not given much respect for my own beliefs (I’m an atheist/non-believer as well). It was an uncomfortable situation and, at times, quite heated. This was a new experience that left me with a sour and odd feeling.
I myself am a follower of Jesus. I hate organized religion because people get all up in a twist about the “rules.” I am also a firm believer in the constitution and it’s there for a reason. Although I personally don’t agree with the homosexual lifestyle, I am not going to deny them rights. I believe that we should all be equal as far as the constitution goes and says. Our forefathers didn’t want anyone to be forced into a religion because theyhad been by the King. Therefore, they made it a law that the government could not force a religion on anyone. Regardless of what I believe, that is simply the best thing.
This was very brave and beautifully written. I share your views but could never express them so eloquently. So thanks
This reminds me of a conversation I had recently with someone I had met only twenty minutes earlier. I told him how I was a very well behaved teenager, at least compared to those who sat on either side of me at the bar that afternoon. He immediately asked, “Were you raised in a very religious household?” I said… “Well…” and before I could even get the words out of my mouth, he had judged me. He labeled me as a “Christian.” Here’s what I can’t stand about that label. A lot of right-wing conservatives have claimed this term as their own–as they continue to take from the poor and give to the rich. As they continue to fight universal health care. Where in the Bible does it say that Jesus only looked out for himself and let the sick and healthy suffer on their own? I am very angry that the term “Christian” had been muddied by these people who (let us not forget) hate so freely. (Prop 8, what?)
Anyhow, after he had already jumped to conclusions about my religion and the fact that it was probably forced upon me by my parents, I finally was able to explain that I was raised by a Jewish father and Christian mother. Religion was never pushed on me, and I decided for myself that I wanted Jesus to be part of my life.
My “new friend” expressed that he was agnostic. And I said, “I would never judge you for your religious beliefs or lack thereof, so why would you judge me for mine?”
And that, Steph, is exactly how I feel about your post. You are you. And I am me. And that’s what makes this place so amazing.
i was nodding my head the entire time. i am exactly where you are in terms of spirituality, and i only wish i had half the eloquence you do to express this. wonderful post, amazing insight to who you have chosen and are choosing to be.
I feel the same way as you do in terms of religion, always have. I went to church with my parents when I was a kid, up until the point that I could stay home alone, but even as a young kid I told my parents that I didn’t believe in god. They never tried to force it on me, except that they told me I had to be confirmed “for my grandmother.” I went along with it because it didn’t mean anything to me either way, but I think they felt they needed to keep up appearances for my grandmother’s sake (she’s very involved in the church). If they wanted me to stand up in front of their church and lie to everyone, that was their problem, I guess. To me, it was just an annoying class I had to go to on Wednesdays for a couple months.
There are a few members of my family who are very conservative, almost radical Christians. They tend to send a lot of “Jesus forwards,” which I just delete. I’ve never really understood people like them who are so judgmental about people who believe different things than they do… seems contrary to any understanding of what god is supposed to be all about.
I believe in kindness and compassion, and the power of people. I was raised more Buddhist than anything, and that kind of philosophy guides me – but I think that, like you, if people find God to be helpful and positive in their lives then that’s amazing and wonderful. If people don’t find that, then finding something else that resonates with them is equally amazing and wonderful. We’re all just people trying to figure through life, the same approach won’t work for everyone.
I guess the way that I look at all this Prop 8 stuff is that religious beliefs shouldn’t come into seeing why it makes no sense for the majority to vote on minority issues. It has always baffled me.
I think you have an amazing heart and are incredibly open for putting this out there. Thank you.
Steph, I really admire you for writing this, for being true to yourself and for being so respectful of others’ beliefs. This piece was so well-thought out and so intelligent.
How you express yourself is so refreshing. Kudos to you, lady! So glad to call you one of my friends!
high five for your bravery in coming out! i’m with you!
Without getting in-depth I just want to say that even though I may not hold those beliefs, that unless you are hurting someone/something, I’ll still be your friend
I also do not like labels, I would rather it be I believe this or that, yadda yadda. And darn you for not letting me make an “i will pray for you” joke.
On another thought, I don’t personally think that type of discrimination has to do with one religious belief or another, of lack thereof. (I’m not saying that you said that exactly, just throwing that out there since that sometimes seems to be a general consensus). Just because I believe peanut butter goes with jelly doesn’t mean that I will not let someone else who likes peanut butter with…mayo(??), have it their way. haha. That was the best example I am giving without getting personal :p Now that I read that over, it makes absolutely no sense. Hopefully it at least made you laugh?
I just wanted to tell you that, from the bottom of my heart, I respect you completely for writing this. I’ve been constructing a post similar to this, proudly proclaiming my “non-religious” self, but I was very afraid to do it. Your post was very inspirational to me, & I want to finally post my opinions on my blog.
You’re amazing, Steph. :]
I have nothing else to say except I love this post! Well done and I am right there with you.
This is such a wonderful place for me to have begun reading your blog. I think that sometimes, religion and the afterlife offers us a second chance, a moment or other life to redeem and make nice. Sometimes I think this circumvents an honest intention to do well and good once and for all.
What a fab post.
I agree with you 100%. I bet there are more of us than we know – since being non-religious can carry a stigma. I rarely talk about religion to anyone but often pretend to believe when around particular friends – sadly. This was a brave post.
Will and I are right there with you. We are both non-believers and so far in our lives we have been pretty lucky and haven’t been judged too harshly for it. We’ve made close friends with a very religious couple who have invited us to church with them, but haven’t pushed it on us when we respectfully declined. Both our parents are understanding and never made it into a taboo topic or even tried to “convert” us, even if they don’t share in our beliefs. I hope that you find the same support and understanding that we have and from all the comments so far, it seems that you will. Kudos to you for being true to yourself!
I’m not religious either! High five!
I have been wanting to write about this same thing for a while but don’t think that I could spell it out as well as you…..
well, you know where I stand on religion, faith, and God, as I’ve made no secret of my beliefs either. I’ve known for a long time that we don’t see eye to eye when it comes to these things, but that doesn’t change the fact that we are family as well as friends. And, regardless of how much or why I might disagree with you, you know how much I love you, Steph!!
)
(which also means that I do pray for you, because I pray for ALL the people I love, no matter what
Steph…you got guts, but they are good ones
I was raised Catholic by father (Catholic) and mother (Baptist, but never converted to Catholic). My father, never my mother, made us go, told us if we didn’t we would go to hell, didn’t understand why we were not happy to sit through a two hour Mass on Christmas Eve around—midnight. Um, hello?!
Fastforward years later, when I was 17, and my parents separated and then divorced. My dad asked for an annulment. I felt hurt because when an annulment is granted that means the marriage never existed. Never. WHAT?! I had issues with the church before this happened but after my parents divorced I pulled away completely. Although I believe in God and it gives me comfort, I do not attend church at this time in my life. Will I ever again? Not sure. My brother, as you have expressed, considers himself agnostic also. At first I was surprised but never did I disrespect what he had to say or what he thought. It’s just not right. Of course I’m sure my dad thinks my brother will go to hell, I’m sure he does, but he doesn’t bring it up.
The fact that you took the leap is a wonderful thing. Although we may not see eye-to-eye on the topic, I agree with you 100%, people need to respect others and their wishes, hopes and ideas. You have mine
Man, I’ve been thinking for two DAYS on what to say here! I want to say SOMEthing, because I am a faithful reader (as terrible as I am about commenting- I’m sorry). I have way over-thought what to say- but, on behalf of Christians- especially those who have hurt you, I am sorry (and I mean that in the most non-belittling way, seriously). “Christians” can really get prideful- and it seems like that’s what you’ve experienced. There’s no way I’m gonna stop reading. You’ve felt like a friend from the time I started reading! I hope writing this was freeing- as I get that sense from you. I hope your heart feels more at peace and that instead of gaining enemies, you’ve gained a sense of being even more loved.
Very eloquently written. I am proud of you.
My son is a very lucky man.
I wish more people could approach discussing their beliefs in the way you just have. I don’t understand why those who are open-minded of others and who do what they can to leave the world a better place are ever targeted as being bad or wrong or needing to be saved. Our beliefs are possibly our most personal possession, so who gave the rest of the world the right to ridicule them? Those who preach acceptance contradict themselves by telling others they are wrong. You’re right, we have to get past that if we ever want to get along.
I could not agree more with this wonderful post!