via mugley
Every morning I walk from my $50/month parking lot to my work building. The building whose parking costs $135/month; an amount I cannot soberly spend on parking. I don’t mind the nice little walk in the mornings. Especially when the weather is as perfect as it is now. A nice breeze. Clear skies. It’s quite invigorating to be in the open air, getting my body moving after my commute. There is one point in the walk that I always encounter that just makes me a little crazy. No matter how fast or slow I walk, the timing of the stop lights never works in my favor at this one intersection. I’m always about two steps too late to make the light and have to wait until the next time around. This morning when I was walking, I was thinking about recent events in my life and realized this intersection is a metaphor for being in your twenties.
You graduate high school, and everyone acts like it’s the beginning of your adulthood, but really is it? Maybe for some. But for those who decide to get their bachelor’s degree or higher education beyond that, it’s really only the beginning. The beginning of this long waiting game. Because once you graduate college after four years (or longer if you continue on) then you will start your career (hopefully anyway). Then once you start your career, it’s only a little longer until you are really settled and move up the ladder and start making enough money to be comfortable. And then if you live in a metropolitan area, you’ve got to wait a few years, save even more money before you buy a house, which you should have before you start a family. That is if you’re lucky enough to already have found your partner, otherwise you just have to wait some more for the “right” person to come around.
It seems like the time is never right for anything when you are in your twenties. Those who are older, who have been there, look back and tell you not to worry. Life is not a sprint. That it’s all about the journey and not the destination. But why then, do I feel like I’m just a horse, pulling a cart, reaching so hard for that carrot, and it constantly being just beyond my reach? I think this is the dilemma most over-achievers face. In high school, you get straight As, and you get the recognition. Hey you graduated! You’re valedictorian! Here’s your medal! Instant rewards. In life, when you take those extra steps, when you make someone else’s life easier, no one is there to give you a gold star. The rewards will eventually come in, but in that moment you feel like you are putting forth more effort than you receive. People will say that it will all be worth it in the end, just be patient. And I do trust that it will be.
At least it better be. And maybe for my patience it can be chocolate-covered, with sprinkles, and dusted with gold.
Posted in 
Tags: 
you nailed this PERFECTLY. being in your 20′s or even early 30′s now is hard and confusing and one big WAITING game. as soon as you reach one level, you have to hang around there for a while before clawing your way up to the next. i get that life isn’t a sprint, believe me, i’ve had my fair share of people tell me this… but some days, it would just be great if life could throw me a bone and help me feel more accomplished.
with that said, i think you’re doing pretty freaking awesome for a 20 something.
Oh Rachel, I am in denial and have this wishful thought that once I turn thirty, my life will click right into place, and I will be content and settled.
I’m also in denial of how close thirty is. Oye!
Ummm, seriously. I always think its interesting that, say my retired grandparents, are set with all their retirement money and not working, able to travel and spend lots of money, basically do whatever. Yet maybe they are at an age when they aren’t physically able to do some things that say, you and I would love to do right now and would be able to. Oh yeah and kids? I’m sure we’d both love a nice young family, right now. Alas..we’re getting old and it’s not happening now…so boo. Timing is never right!
ditto just ditto.
seriously I think about this all the time
Steph this is exactly what has been on my mind for the last couple of years, the buying a house, having children, growing up, feeling old but not feeling old enough. I wish it was easier and I could just enjoy (I try) but it never works for that long. I really want to start living in the moment and just let it happen.
this is a wonderful post, thank you for sharing.
Oh and it doesn’t stop once you have the kids…. Then you are waiting for them to hurry up and grow up so that you can do fun stuff with them like major vacations; go back to school and get that random degree you almost did before they were around, but were told was impractical (art); waiting until they are old enough that you can leave them with family for a longer vacation BY YOURSELVES (because that never happens); etc. And it doesn’t stop with the purchase of the house either… like now we’re just waiting, and waiting and waiting for the market to go back up so we can get rid of the thing. *Sigh* Anwyay, once all this hurry up and wait business starts driving me crazy I just remember to focus on the here and now, instead of constantly pining away at the future. This is where I am now, might as well enjoy the babies… even on the frustrating days full of tantrums and tears. Because one day this will all be gone far too quickly. The same applies to you. One day your life will be so full of stuff that you’ll long for your simple walks in the morning or being able to just pick up with Cale and go spontaneously without having the load the SUV or minivan with a bazillion toys, bags, food, screaming children etc. You’ll long for the days when you had some fun little disposable income to buy shoes and clothes or whatever.
I really enjoyed reading this blog you wrote, although I do have to disagree with the time line of life. I believe that a lot of people have this predetermined idea of what life “should be” (4 years of college, get married, etc.) but that rarely ever happens for anyone in the real world.
My thoughts are that if you live your life according to how you want it, it will be picture perfect for you and ONLY you. I took 2 years off of school after high school, moved away to college with my life long best friend… now we have a child together. We don’t have the perfect life that most would think of but it’s perfect for us and I wouldn’t have changed any of it for the world!
Kristin,
I think I just laid out that timeline because that is my experience, and that’s the one that I’m choosing to follow. What I was really trying to express was how everything just seemed like it would be easier. And now I’m almost 25 and there seems to be a lot of things still standing in the way. I think you’d agree that it’s not easy to get settled when you’re still as relatively young as we all are. There’s always that one additional thing you have to do, whether it be: go back to school, build your nest egg, etc. But maybe that’s just me being a discontented person in that I’m never satisfied, and there’s always that one more thing I feel I have to do.
There will always be a dangling carrot of some sort. That is what keeps us going. I hope we always have something to strive for. A goal to get up every morning/night;) is what keeps me going. The pace just slows down a bit for us old folks. Remember to live in the moment you young ones. Time whooshes by expecially for those with little ones. I’m writing a comment on my little baby girls blog. How did that happen so fast?
Ooh, I know exactly what you mean. That’s the “catch” about being ambitious, I guess. Even if your dream does come true, it will be shortly followed by another, potentially harder dream. But, if it isn’t, then I sort of think that you’re doing it wrong. I think we sort of need that dream to strive for, even if it’s just a little one.
I would like chocolate gold sprinkled pretzels, or patience, or something. Its late, my commenting skills are not at their sharpest at the moment.
Steph,
I didn’t mean to for my post to come out that way… hope you didn’t take it the wrong way! I meant to explain that paths for everyone can be different and no matter which one you take you will ALWAYS feel like there is something else to finish. I don’t think that feeling will ever go away in your lifetime. But I also believe that i the beauty of life- there are so many things you CAN do or CAN accomplish. Don’t be discouraged by this, although it is tough to be an adult and get more responsibilities! :]
Kristin,
No definitely not. I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t coming across as saying that there’s only one timeline either. I agree, definitely however you choose to live there are definitely going to be those unattainable goals that will only come more into focus with time.
I definitely relate. With going back to school suddenly everything seems to be on a timeline all its own- two years to finish, then trying to find a job that’s on my ‘career’ path, then kids? Bigger house later, or first? What’s the best plan? Trying to figure it out is exhausting, and learning to just enjoy these moments as they pass has been one of the best things I’ve learned in my early 20s so far.
Life is the journey. I don’t think I am old (well, too old anyway) and I can look back and see the different episodes. All of them were worth living. Life is cool that way. Enjoy everything you can along the way.
i like this very, very much.
does it get better? someone in their 30s, please say it gets better!
“But why then, do I feel like I’m just a horse, pulling a cart, reaching so hard for that carrot, and it constantly being just beyond my reach?”
OMG, you reached into my soul and pulled this outta there, I swear. That’s exactly how I feel. I wish I knew how to take it down a notch, but mostly I feel like I’m running around in circles, chasing my tail.
Breathe in, breathe out. Hopefully things will make more sense as time goes on…