What better way to begin a new year than to do some self-reflection? I spent a lot of 2008 trying to figure out who I was. I was juggling the different images of myself that I wished I was and then had a hard time accepting the person I truly am.

The person I am not going to be in 2009:

• That person who doesn’t disappoint others. I have to know that I’m never going to be enough for everyone. I won’t be around enough. I won’t keep in contact enough. I will forget birthdays and anniversaries. And life will go on. But you know who I won’t disappoint? Myself. That will be my priority. And to those who I will disappoint, hopefully they will be those awesome people in your life who are understanding and love you as you are. If they aren’t? Oh well, they will be disappointed, and I won’t let it bother me.
• Someone who can keep the house perfectly clean and cook marvelous dinners. I am going to accept that I won’t always have the time after work to cook a great dinner (or a dinner at all). Our TV will get dusty, and I will cave and spray my shower with bleach once a month instead of scrubbing it weekly. My garden will need watering and weeding. I’m going to instead be so thankful for my husband who picks up the slack and helps me not only get things done, but helps me to understand that those things are not as important as our time together.
• The ultimate hostess or socialite. After living in the bay area for almost two years we still are lacking in the friend department. I’m not wonderfully extroverted and adept at making friends, so I knew this would be a struggle. So this year maybe making an eensy bit of an effort will give us the opportunity to have people we can hang out with. Am I the only person who finds couple dates so incredibly awkward? Like you’re dating all over again.
• The crafter. I can craft occasionally. And sometimes it works out, but I have to know that I just will not have the time to be as crafty as I’d like. I love looking at others’ projects. Maybe this year I will just browse etsy more and allow others craftiness to make me happy.
• As fit as I am in my dreams. But I am going to start training for a half marathon in May. I will either register for the half marathon or the 5k depending on how my training is going. And I’m going to do the triathlon again in September. Hopefully those will keep me motivated to stay active.

So while I won’t be the perfect Stephanie who exists in my dreams, I can look forward to a year where I live with realistic expectations of myself. As a result, I hope to have a much happier year. A year where I work hard at work and come home to my husband and enjoy my life. I will work on exercising more because when I do it gives me more energy to get other things done. I will work on learning more about my new vegetarian diet and the endless options I have for meals. I will enjoy photography and look forward to enhancing my skills at my new-found hobby. I will explore our area in Northern California and find more places to escape reality with my husband. I will actually write in my paper journal. I will be a person who lives in the moment and stops keeping a mental countdown for the next upcoming event.

What did you learn about yourself in the past year? Are you using that as a way to improve in the upcoming year?

I wasn’t sure if I was going to reflect over 2008. I mean what did I even do that was worth reflecting over? I didn’t get married, I didn’t get pregnant, I didn’t travel anywhere exciting.. My life in 2008 was just boring right? Well then I started reflecting on it and going through my blog archives. Thank goodness my blog is here to hold me accountable and to show me that even a seemingly mundane year held many adventures and made many memories. 2008 really wasn’t all that boring.

Well it started out in a very different way from all other years. Cale’s grandma Verla passed away right at the start of the new year. It was the first of two funerals I would attend this year. While the passing was not a surprise, it was still very sorrowful to lose a member of my newly-acquired in-laws. Then the day after our one year anniversary I got a horrible message. Our friends’ son had passed away. I read her email over and over. I couldn’t believe it. Then I ran in to Cale getting ready for work, and I sobbed so heavily and deeply, barely able to relay the news to him. I called her saying of course we would be there. And we were.

On January 2nd, the day after Verla’s passing, I took (and later not surprisingly found out that I did not pass) my first CPA exam. And the rest of those exams would take up the good first half of my year. I took two tests each testing window until my last one on July 2nd. And after that first fluke test, I passed all four, which resulted in a nice bonus that funded my very first DSLR camera.

At the beginning of 2008, I never would have imagined that a new camera would sky-rocket to the top of my wishlist. I slowly began to take an interest in photography throughout the year as I learned how to work our little point and shoot and as I began to blog more often. In January I wrote a total of three blogs that entire month. February there were four. March there were fifteen, and it just increased from there. Then in April I started participating in Exposaroonie. The regular challenges pushed me to learn and experiment with photography. And you know what? It was fun. So fun that during the latter part of this year I started up my Daily Me: a self-portrait everyday. It’s a great way for me to drag my camera out every day. So I guess you could say in 2008 I found a great new hobby.

I also lied before when I said I never went anywhere. But actually 2008 held several adventures for me. Earlier in the year we had visitors to our little cottage. Chris and Alyssa visited and we all went to San Francisco and, among other things, got yummy donuts. My husband and I took a short weekend holiday to Carmel to celebrate our one year anniversary in June. We both ended up with severe sunburns and spent the remainder of the weekend recovering. Then my family all joined in Tahoe for some adventures that included dog diarrhea, bears, and more sunburns. Our last trip was to the California coast for my sister’s birthday, whose pictures have still yet to be seen on this blog, as my ultimate procrastination has caused a four month delay in posting apparently. One other adventure that I took solo was to Orlando, FL for a work conference. Of course it wasn’t entirely uneventful, as I went early to visit Disneyworld and I did take a break in the week to make it to an Obama Rally in Kissimmee.

There were also smaller trips throughout the year. Mostly to Bakersfield to visit family. And as the year went on, the trips became further apart, which was not a bad thing. I was learning to be more independent. To enjoy my weekends of leisure. To get the most out of our visits when we did make them. Halfway through the year I made a special trip to Fresno to visit with Morgan and to meet some new friends. Because over the year, I met people through this blog that are my friends. This blog that I only posted in three times in January grew in a way that allowed me to meet people; awesome people at that. Awesome people who I shared the contents of my purse with, came to our Christmas party, and who I exchanged scarves with. It also allowed me to stay up to date in the day to day lives of my “real life” friends and family. I got to go to my best friend’s baby shower and cried when I got to hear as she was going into labor. Alyssa inspired me to craft. Talia inspired me to cook. Cait shared our seesterly love.

While I didn’t get married in 2008, I did get to celebrate a one year wedding anniversary. Not only that but I learned a lot about being married and what all that entails. Following the wedding I was bound and determined to be a perfect wife. I wanted a perfect house, to cook perfect meals, and to do it all. As I started having to stay at work later and later into the evening, I saw my dreams of being the perfect wife slip away. I was asking Cale to cook dinner and was watching the dust pile up. But you know what? Cale didn’t care. He taught me a lot over this year about being a good wife. He showed me that it’s not about what I do, but it’s about coming home and being there. He showed me how to be romantic. He showed me that no matter what happens at work or elsewhere, I can always come home and get a good cuddle. Our relationship grew tremendously over the past year, and at the start of the year, I never would have thought that it could get any better. But it did.

So I guess all that was just to say.. Wow. 2008 wasn’t all that boring. While I don’t have any monumental life experiences headed my way, I can’t let life pass me by. So much can happen that could just dissolve into oblivion if we don’t take a second to savor it and to put it into our memories. Looking forward to 2009 I know that I can count on another year that is eventful. No matter what eventually happens.

I was born December 11, 1984 at 11:32am. On my due date. And not much has changed since. I’m still always on time. I still occasionally look asian. Especially when I’m tired or inebriated, I get really squinty-eyed.

I was thinking today about what my life holds for me. I’m twenty-four. When my mom turned twenty-four, she was raising a little daughter. A miniature version of herself. Throughout my entire lifetime, she’s been living her life. And now here I am at twenty-four thinking about how short my life is in comparison. How exciting though. I can look forward to living another one of my lifetimes. And this time around, I won’t have to spend the majority of it in school. Or learning to walk. Or going through puberty. Now that is just something to be thankful for in itself.

I spent my childhood learning to stand on my own two feet. Literally. I would fall, but I would pick myself up. Constantly learning and growing. Now I still fall. More often figuratively than literally. Though still I actually do fall sometimes, including down the stairs while checking emails on my PDA, which I don’t recommend. But I pick myself up. I make sure that my heels are still okay. And I keep going.

In twenty-four years, I completed sixteen years of school. I succeeded. I do not expect to succeed any less in the next twenty-four. I look forward to continuing to learn and grow, to spending these next twenty-four years becoming an even better person than I am right now, and to challenging myself to seek out new experiences.

So twenty-four, what do you have in store for me? I hope it’s good.

A couple weeks back on the night before Thanksgiving, my husband was up later than I was and got an earful apparently. As I mentioned before, my words of wisdom in my sleep were “Don’t Die… It’s Thanksgiving.”

Well ever since my husband has gotten quite a kick out of staying up later than me to hear what I have to say (well he’s actually working on wrapping up his finals and writing papers and stuff for school.. but I guess this is an extra perk). And I have not disappointed!

I woke up the other day to find this on my twitter:

caleiam: stephanie asleep:”what the hell is up with the lights?” me: “It’s christmas.” steph: “oh, okay.” … final papers are fun! 1:20 AM Dec 7th from TwitterFox

caitlynsuzanne: @caleiam don’t die…it’s christmas. 1:28 AM Dec 7th from web in reply to caleiam

caleiam: steph now “kinda feels tired” mind you shes asleep when she says that so I don’t know what more can be done to help her. 1:53 AM Dec 7th from TwitterFox

caleiam: @caitlynsuzanne yea I don’t know if I should be scared, there are a lot of holidays coming up: Kwanzaa,Hanukkah.. Festivus 1:57 AM Dec 7th from TwitterFox in reply to caitlynsuzanne

Dude! Don’t make fun of me! I brushed it off though because I’m cool like that. I must have been really tired or something. Really because I don’t talk in my sleep! Really! I mean, I had like four different roommates in college, and I spent the night at many a sleepover growing up. I even just recently had a roommate in my hotel room while I was in Orlando. I’m not that person. I do not talk in my sleep! Right?

But then this morning I was greeted with this email:

from Cale Corwin
to Steph Corwin
date Tue, Dec 9, 2008 at 12:34 AM
subject i <3 you
mailed-by gmail.com

"how funny is it that someone, somebody else got on your... the catcher, caught... "

you are soo hot when you're asleep.

I guess I talk in my sleep…