Self-Reflection | Those Corwins

Posts Tagged ‘Self-Reflection’

ISTJ is a code word for crazy

Posted by Steph on May 5th, 2010

So you’re dead, which may make it a little creepy that I’m writing to you. Sorry about that. I just took your little test thingy-ma-bob. And I’d like to thank you for reaffirming my beliefs that I am, indeed, a crazy person. A person that no one likes. I’m talking no one. Sure ISTJs have their pros, and I’ll go over that in a bit. But wow, those cons are striking. And they fit me like a glove.

What makes up this ISTJ?

I: Introversion. I’m shy and prefer reflection over interactions with others. This one’s a gimme. Next!
S: Sensing. I want the tangible information. Facts. Now.
T: Thinking. Rational thoughts and objective reasoning over feel-good solutions. I wasn’t too far into this category, so maybe I consider both in decisions.
J: Judging. I want things decided and closed. I hate interruptions (which is so very true).

The Good Stuff

I’m a great worker. Imagine that. But I’m also very reliable, assuming that task is something I’ve added as part of my duties and decided to take on.
I’m faithful, loyal, dependable. You know like a dog.
Once I learn something, I’m freaking awesome at it.

The Nasty Side

Basically.. I’m a cold hearted beezy.
If I’m stressed out, I’ll go straight to the extreme that THE WORLD IS ENDING AND MY LIFE IS HORRIBLE!
I have issues with opening myself up and connecting deeply with others.

That’s the cliff notes. A whole summary of my life is basically presented in the full ISTJ portrait. I realize I shouldn’t blame two dead people for my own personality traits. I’m also aware that it’s just a test and does not box me up and shelf me as this ISTJ character for life. I took this as a prep for a leadership training we’re doing at work. I’ve read through everything I can get my hands on, and it’s a pretty darn accurate portrayal of who I am and how/why I operate. As I’ve been bumbling my way through my life, relationships, and career, it’s nice to see that I have a “default” button. And that’s when I slide into my ISTJ tendencies. Knowing the way I operate, however, will provide me with the knowledge to play up my strengths, take care of my weaknesses, and take over the world! Or just be a more fulfilled human being. You know, baby steps.

Have you ever figured out your personality type (there’s a free test here)? What do you think?

Sidenote: I fancied up my page a bit in an effort to motivate me to write in here more. We’ll see if that actually works. Funny that I’m all dependable according to the above, but have let this whole blog venture fall by the wayside.

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Embracing 2010 and all it holds for my 25 year old self

Posted by Steph on December 22nd, 2009

A year ago I really had no clue what twenty four would hold for me. I didn’t know what steps would lie between then and now. I knew another year would come and go, but how? I had no idea. It’s about taking life one day, week, month, year at a time. And at the end of that time period, if you look back and find yourself inches closer to where you’ve dreamed you’d be, then it’s been a success. You won’t notice it right away but it happens.

My year as twenty four was one I never could have predicted, and one that without reflection could have passed by without regard. But it was a year to be proud of that is for sure. I did things and accomplished more than I could have envisioned. I may be spending my twenties as a married, career-driven, young lady, a way of life that could easily fall victim to the boring day to day, but it is still exciting and wide open for adventures and opportunities. I battled the same challenges I face year after year: eating healthy, finding time to exercise, wanting more out of life, stressing myself out more than necessary. And I will continue to face those this next year.

However, those are not the things I’ll remember my twenty-four year old self for. I’ll remember that: I made a list and took an active role in achieving the things I want out of life; It was the year I got bangs and I started to love my hair; I got a new computer and subsequently learned how to edit my photos better (and had fun with it!); I stopped hiding the fact that I don’t believe in god; I flew to Vegas two weekends in a row, once to celebrate two years with my husband and another time to meet a group of women I did not know who would have such a profoundly positive impact on me and my outlook on life; I became a sister-in-law to two adorable little twin babies who have given my baby fever a huge boost; I had a girls weekend in Shaver and got back to work to find out I was getting promoted; I photographed my first wedding and fell in love with my husband ten times over as he officiated the ceremony; My family went to Yosemite and did not see any bears; I went back to school for my masters in taxation degree; We moved out of our little cottage in the quest for more space to live; I committed to the Avon Walk and felt good to be helping a cause so much bigger than myself. I blogged less, I lived more. It was a tremendous year.

The things I learned over this past year are small things, like refusing to say no to something just because it makes me nervous. Little things that will open more doors for me in the future. I want to take advantage of all the opportunities I can. Those plans I had for myself when I was going through college, that timetable I just needed to meet: out the window. I want to live in the present, not pushing all my hopes and dreams into the unknown future. Granted, this won’t result in some huge life-altering change right away, but I don’t want to limit myself by refusing to see things as options. It’s my life that I’m leading. In the spirit of watching The Holiday a few too many times this December, I need gumption. And 25 year old Stephanie is going to have gumption in spades.

December 11, 2009: Happy 25th Birthday to me.

Happy holidays everyone, I hope you have had a fabulous 2009 and are looking forward to an even better 2010.

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Timing

Posted by Steph on August 26th, 2009

via mugley

Every morning I walk from my $50/month parking lot to my work building. The building whose parking costs $135/month; an amount I cannot soberly spend on parking. I don’t mind the nice little walk in the mornings. Especially when the weather is as perfect as it is now. A nice breeze. Clear skies. It’s quite invigorating to be in the open air, getting my body moving after my commute. There is one point in the walk that I always encounter that just makes me a little crazy. No matter how fast or slow I walk, the timing of the stop lights never works in my favor at this one intersection. I’m always about two steps too late to make the light and have to wait until the next time around. This morning when I was walking, I was thinking about recent events in my life and realized this intersection is a metaphor for being in your twenties.

You graduate high school, and everyone acts like it’s the beginning of your adulthood, but really is it? Maybe for some. But for those who decide to get their bachelor’s degree or higher education beyond that, it’s really only the beginning. The beginning of this long waiting game. Because once you graduate college after four years (or longer if you continue on) then you will start your career (hopefully anyway). Then once you start your career, it’s only a little longer until you are really settled and move up the ladder and start making enough money to be comfortable. And then if you live in a metropolitan area, you’ve got to wait a few years, save even more money before you buy a house, which you should have before you start a family. That is if you’re lucky enough to already have found your partner, otherwise you just have to wait some more for the “right” person to come around.

It seems like the time is never right for anything when you are in your twenties. Those who are older, who have been there, look back and tell you not to worry. Life is not a sprint. That it’s all about the journey and not the destination. But why then, do I feel like I’m just a horse, pulling a cart, reaching so hard for that carrot, and it constantly being just beyond my reach? I think this is the dilemma most over-achievers face. In high school, you get straight As, and you get the recognition. Hey you graduated! You’re valedictorian! Here’s your medal! Instant rewards. In life, when you take those extra steps, when you make someone else’s life easier, no one is there to give you a gold star. The rewards will eventually come in, but in that moment you feel like you are putting forth more effort than you receive. People will say that it will all be worth it in the end, just be patient. And I do trust that it will be.

At least it better be. And maybe for my patience it can be chocolate-covered, with sprinkles, and dusted with gold.

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It’s been a hard day’s night

Posted by Steph on July 17th, 2009

This week I’ve been feeling like a high schooler. Not in the insecure, pimple popping ways, but in the Oh my gosh there are so many things I could do, who needs to sleep way. I’ve determined there are several things for which I will forgo sleep. This is pretty rare because I’m not one of those people who can function on four hours of sleep. Or six. Or even seven. I need my eight hours (hence one of several reasons there is no baby Corwin). So what in the world has gotten into me this week? I have no idea. I must be so tired that I’m delusional. But the following things have kept me up this week:

Work. Yeah not fun but for whatever reason I can channel my inner college student to cram in work when I need to.
TV. Well to be specific, Dead Like Me on Hulu. We now have the iMac set up with hulu desktop and have it linked to our Harmony remote. So that basically controls my life. I’ve determined that if a show is on Showtime, I will most likely love it. Weeds, Californication, Dead Like Me, Dexter, United States of Tara. Yep we’ve watched them all. And I forsee Nurse Jackie being added to that list very soon.
Fixing computer issues. Not that I obsessively spent four hours into the night trying to fix some random hosting issue. No I would never do that. Except I did. And literally had to drag myself away and into bed when I still could not figure it out.
Cutting Cale’s hair. At midnight. Because that is normal. The spending an extra thirty minutes assuring him that no it’s not too short, and no you don’t need to shave it all off now.
Folding laundry.
Surfing The Knot because I’m shooting a friend’s wedding next week, and I am so not prepared whatsoever. Thank goodness it’s pretty low stress being a backyard wedding. But still, new territory freaks me out.

Maybe it’s the lack of sleep but I really cannot believe it’s already Friday. This week has been pretty darn exciting though. I went to Shaver over the weekend. Came back with a nice tan. Monday found out I am being promoted at work. Which I would totally be over the moon about had everyone in my start class been as well. But it’s a total bummer that not everyone has something to celebrate. (Shakes her fist at the economy) So while I am definitely happy and glad to be recognized at work, it’s not as great as it could be.

Cale and I have also been day dreaming about this completely abandoned, rundown cabin for sale in our town. I know, such a random thing to drool over right? But it’s super cheap, and even though we weren’t planning on buying in the Bay Area for a long time, it’s a small possibility that we might look into, should we get the information we need from the county on what needs to be fixed and approved through them. But even though we’re not committed to it, we’ve been having fun picking out kitchen and bathroom stuff and talking about it like its ours. Maybe it’s our way of making up for the lack of the HGTV or TLC channels since we canceled our cable. We won’t be heartbroken should everything not work out (to be honest, I think it would save me one giant headache), but we’re casually looking into it.

I’m in a pretty good place right now. I love when I can look back on a week, overlook the occasional bad mood I encountered, and be very pleased with how it went. I struck a good balance (regardless of the sleep issues), and I know my life’s headed into the right direction.